16 & Pregnant.

No, not the popular tv show. I'm writing about me. I was 16 & pregnant. When I got pregnant with my 1st daughter, it was just 1 month before my 17th birthday. I didn't really realize it until I was about 6 weeks along. I was on vacation in Hawaii visiting my Dad and his side of the family. I was always SO tired while on that vaca, constantly napping. My family & I just attributed it to jet lag.

When I got back from that vaca, I finally started to realize that I hadn't had my period that month. I think I kinda knew in the back of my mind for a while but was in denial. I told my [now hubby] that I thought I could be pregnant. He bought a test and came over one day. I took it & yep,.. it was positive. We discussed our options. We were both in denial for quite a while though. I remember going to a clinic to see how far along I was & I was already almost 20 wks at that point! I was so scared but I knew that I wanted our baby. My mom didn't find out til right before Christmas time 2004 when I was about 5 1/2 months along already! She kinda suspected it when I was wearing baggier clothes at that time trying to hide the lil bump. I remember the morning she confronted me. I was watching mtv videos and the music video Are You Gonna Be My Girl by Jet was on..(.which was kinda weird since I found out a couple weeks later at my very 1st appt. that I was having a girl :D) She just asked if I was and I just told her. She was so understanding that day and said that it would be alright and she'd help me. I regreat not telling her sooner so I could have received prenatal care earlier but I was just so incredibly scared and ashamed.

Well fast forward to being a teen mom. I was instantly in love with Sabrina when she was born! I didn't resent her or the fact that I was a teen mom. It was a happy feeling. She was born on a monday. I missed that week of school. And the next week just happened to be spring break so it was nice to have that off w/ her!

Getting into the groove of high school and baby was pretty hard. I just had 2.5 months left of high school anyways so it wasn't so bad. I was just really tired and prob had spit up in my hair most of the time ha. I remember staying up so late breastfeeding, rocking her, and just watching her sleep. But at the same time trying to complete my english honors projects and writing my papers. It was tough but I got the hang of it. My mom was really helpful too! She'd come out every once in a while and hold her while I did my work and not to mention the fact that she watched her while I went to school! It was kinda weird that my baby attended my high school graduation but I was so proud. That was the 1st time my Dad got to meet her. It felt good to have her there and its something that I can share and smile about with when she's a lil older.

It was pretty hard at times and I can say to other young girls that I definitely do not recommend getting pregnant at such a young age. There are a lot of things I missed out on. I didn't go to my senior prom. But I didn't get out all that much to begin with and wasn't the party type. I remember my mom practically forced me to go to a party with my older brother but I didn't want to leave the baby at all! I handled being a young mom at such a young age but I couldn't have done it at all without my Mom! And for that I owe her all the thanks in the world. I will do everything in my power to make sure that my kiddos learn from my mistakes and do things differently. I will definitely have 'the talk' with them as my mom never did with me and I wish that she would have.